You talk about forgiveness in your card drawing today. Could you explain more about that, because I have a lot of trouble forgiving stuff my parents did to me, when I was a child. And why should I forgive them, when what they did, really was wrong? I don’t think, they deserve my forgiveness.

Dear A.
Thank you for asking that question.

Forgiveness is not about saying that wrong-doing is okay or right in any way at all.
Forgiveness is about no longer wanting to carry the pain or keeping it as a reminder of exactly that kind of behavior. So forgiveness is about letting go.

When we are attached to pain caused at any point in our lives, we keep a kind of bond to both the people who did us wrong, to the behavior and to the pain. And it keeps the energy stuck in our system preventing us from all kind of good experiences we could have instead.

When we forgive, we often forgive ourselves in some way too. Underneath the pain we often blame ourselves for not having done anything when the wrong-doing was going on. And then when we grow up we say to ourselves, that we don’t want to do this or do that because our body reminds us that it could go very wrong. So it becomes an issue of you not trusting, that you can handle the situation even though you are a grown up now.

So when you forgive you actually decide to let go of the anchor that holds you back from living your life fully. Sometimes forgiveness comes with understanding your parents situation and capability. And sometimes it just comes from you no longer wanting to limiting yourself. Either way is perfectly alright. It is about letting go.

You could try and think of all the situations where you have stopped yourself from doing something you actually were drawn to do because you came in contact with the pain from the wrong-doing in your childhood. Since you ask the question, some kind of energy is stuck, so I thereby conclude, that you will have situations like that in your life.

If this is hard for you either to understand or do by yourself, I very much recommend that you find some kind of therapist, healer or another kind of practitioner either to get started or to learn how to doit on your own.

With love